ACT YOUR AGE @ DON'S CLUB TAVERN
723 East 6th Avenue
303-832-9904

There are young bars that act old. You know. They stock up on fake memorabilia, antique signs, cutesy-ass garbage all designed to distract from their uncomfortable newness. Shameful. Unfortunately for Denver's bargoing public, this particular trend has reached a point of crisis there are now so many callow bars pretending to be grizzled that it's difficult to tell who's real and who ain't. This, of course, is where I come in. I know you depend on me for this kind of information, boozy shut-in that you are, so here's the lowest of low-downs: when in Capitol Hill, avoid any-place except for Don's Club Tavern.

Sure, that means you'll miss the spectacle of Denver Joe at Cricket On The Hill, and whatever the hell they do at the Snake Pit, but your wallet will thank you for it. Don's is one of the cheapest bars in the city wells are $3, domestics $2.50, and the priciest hooch in the place runs a whopping $5.50. Those aren't Happy Hour prices either (although Don's recently began running specials on Sunday from 7 to 10 p. m.). This isn't the kind of place that runs ladies' nights or Budweiser promotions featuring bikini-clad 13-year-olds or Globbo, the beer-drinking Colobus monkey. This place has been in one spot, and owned by one guy Don Aymami for 47 years.

The tables have photographs under plastic documenting decades of changing hairstyles and bar wear. There are signs saying things like, "This Bar is Under Arrest," and, "In Heaven Ain't no Beer, Gotta Drink it Here." Hear, hear. There's a shuffleboard table here, and not one that looks as if was built in my lifetime. The cigarette machine was found intact in a Mayan ruin. About the only thing here that doesn't exude the heady, musty aroma of beer-sotted stasis is the bartender.

Will Dupree has been working here for a little over a year. And like many of Don's customers, he couldn't have found a more appropriate environment.

"It's a really cool place, really mellow," he said on a recent morning when the rain was slouching earthward like a three cunted cow pissing off a cliff onto a flat rock through a sieve (to borrow a phrase from a tiny crazy Texan I knew as a child). "In the days it's pretty dead, but we get a really good young crowd at night. It's the entire opposite of the club scene this is where you come if you want to be able to hear and talk to the people you're with, and not pay a fortune."

Dupree has been in Denver for 17 years and previously worked at one of LoDo's fancy schmancy cocktail bars, hustling $10 drinks to the downtown idiocy crowd. Don's, to his mind, is a far better deal overall.

"It really gets hoppin' on Friday and Saturday nights," he said. "We were voted best dive bar in Denver last year by Citysearch. But Don won't let us put the plaque up."

Don, still a hands-on owner in his mid 80s, hearkens to an earlier era, when "dive bar" wasn't a hip compliment; when, instead, it conjured up images of press gangs and sclerotic opium smokers. Even Dupree's best efforts to explain the change in definition have gone unappre-ciated.

"I tried to tell him, it doesn't mean the same thing anymore," he said. "Nowadays, I think it just kind of means bars that are old."

Old. Old is what? 47 years? That's pretty old, for a bar. Especially a bar that's only known one owner and location. There are other places in the metro area that have seniority The Blue Blaze, in unincorporated Adams County, and Joe's Cavern on Federal are two that spring to mind but there aren't many that wear their age as well. Don's successfully bridges the gap between the people who have been going there for years and the fashionable youngsters in the nearby apartments. It is a fixture, true (although that word is applied to just about every public-house and ale-room nowadays); but more importantly, it is a fixture that doesn't need fixing.

So, like I said. There's the scoop. The skinny. The hush-hush, brought to you on the DL. Word. When in Capitol Hill, swing on by Don's Club Tavern, or as it is alternately referred to on the faulty neon sign outside, Don's Mixed Drinks. Grab a bottle full of beer. Play some shuffle-board. Just don't call it a dive, or risk being pummeled senseless by a man three times your age.

posted: June 30, 2011

posted: June 30, 2011

posted: June 30, 2011

Unless you live in a hole in the ground I’m sure you have at least heard someone mention Don’s Mixed Drinks before. In the last few years it has become known as one of the best dive bars in Denver. So yeah that may be old news but, for the first time in its 60 years of serving really strong drinks Don’s is expanding. That’s right the West wall of Don’s is coming down and they are ushering in a new era.

It may seem at first as if this might be ruining a landmark Denver dive bar, but if you have been there on a Friday night lately you know the space is desperately needed. In addition to more space there are new bathrooms going in. That’s right, no more using the ladies restroom when you really have to go on a Saturday afternoon. Basically the few draw backs this sixty year old bar had are being set straight. A little more room and a few more creature comforts like bathrooms that fit more than one person at a time are just what this place needs.

The total transformation is not complete yet but the tear down and build up has finally begun. Much to the relief of the entire staff of Don’s as the question of “when is the expansion starting?” became as common a question as “what’s on special?” John will not have to strangle anyone for asking that question anymore. The wall is partially down and the new Don’s should be complete in the next 4-6 weeks. If you have never been, get down to Don’s and see John, TJ, Mariah, Matt, and Jackson, some of the best bartenders I have encountered in Denver.

Stiff drinks and a no-nonsense bar is how this place is run so review proper tipping and drink ordering etiquette before heading in, otherwise you might not get served. There is no kitchen but feel free to bring in a sub from Mr. Lucky’s right next door. They don’t have a happy hour but cheap beers and cocktails poured with a heavy hand are their specialty. This Denver landmark is probably not going anywhere for another 60 years, and their expansion is only going to make your upcoming Don’s experience a little more comfortable. Check it out now so you can be a bar snob and tell all the newbies that you knew Don’s before they expanded.

posted: June 30, 2011

posted: June 30, 2011

That trip back came last weekend. I found it to still be lovably shabby, aside from the glare of neon that now highlighted the back bar. The name had changed to Don's Club Tavern, though to my dismay I found out that may have been the name all along. The smoke had also lifted, and the clarity opened my eyes to the true identity of Don's... a grade A faux dive bar. A fro-dive, if you will. To be certain, a crappy interior does not a dive bar make. The crowd was young, smartly dressed, and enjoying plenty of Pabst Blue Ribbons. I was also unaware that the mixed drinks were mainly of the Red Bull variety. Foul. Matt and I sat anonymously at a booth in the corner, enjoying a nice pairing of a High Life bottle and a mixed drink (had to). The drinks set us back $12 (solid for four bevs), and we watched the meat market scene, one that was more LoDo than East Colfax, unfold. About the time we were finishing up our beverages and deciding whether or not we wanted seconds, I noticed a sign on the far west wall of the bar which read 'After 80 years, Don's Club Tavern is finally expanding. Track the progress at myspace.com/donsclubtavern.' Apparently even the shab was not cool enough for Don's anymore. Thoroughly defeated, we left, hanging our heads in silence and mourning the passing of a classic.

Don's Club Tavern serves mixed drinks on 723 E. 6th in Denver, right around the corner from LoDo.

posted: June 30, 2011

Don's Mixed Drinks - Denver, CO

723 E. 6th Avenue
Denver, CO
(303) 832-9904

Denver is an active city with a popular bar scene. Microbrews and Martinis are big here, found in the redeveloped areas around Coors Field on Blake Street and in the 16th Street Mall area. But on the outskirts of downtown in a little transition area is a rather nondescript bar that has stood for nearly 60 years.

“I think it is called Dan’s Drinks,” my bartender friend recommended when I told him I was heading to Denver. “I’ll look for it,” I said. A search of the Denver phone book came up with nothing. A look through Westword, the New Times weekly entertainment tabloid, was also futile. Time to take it to the people.

“You mean Don’s Mixed Drinks,” the bartender at the highly acclaimed Sports Column sports bar informs me. “I used to live over there. Every bartender knows that place. It is something else.” For Denver, it is something else, indeed.

New ownership promised not to change a thing after Don died recently. For almost 60 years this little local hangout has served customers young and old with cold beer and solid cocktails.

Don’s Mixed Drinks and Club Tavern - as the decade’s old neon out front proudly, if not a bit weakly, states - looks like your Uncle’s basement bar. Formica is king, both on the bar top and the back bar cooler doors. A single pool table - full of stories people say - on the left is surrounded by years of trophies that pool players representing Don’s have won. Also flanking the table are four pictures of the famous watercolor dogs playing pool. And I thought they only played poker.

A veteran crowd of regulars entertain during the day. The nighttime gets significantly younger. The oldsters return the next day to hear what happened the night before. Drinks are cheap and from what I have seen the staff is an interesting mix of characters.

The back bar itself is an etched translucent mirror featuring the Rocky Mountains. Humor is prevalent throughout the bar, by evidence the sign on the back door of this little hole that opens up to a dirt alley. “Pool” the sign states with a drawing of a swimmer.

One reason that I couldn’t find the bar in the phone book is that it has not been listed for years. But if you want to find a little place that seems so out of place in up-to-date Denver, try Don’s Mixed Drinks. (303) 832-9904. Just don’t tell them how you got the number. – D. M.

posted: June 30, 2011

Dive Bar Divas are young, attractive women who frequent bars catering primarily to older male serious drinkers. This surprising, recent, new trend is found throughout the Cherry Creek Valley and across the United States. It is such a national phenomenon that there is even a hit song entitled “Diva in a Dive Bar” by the New York band “Subway Sun.” There is also a myspace page dedicated to Dive Bar Divas that can be found by visiting http: //groups.myspace.com/ DiveBarDivas. The staff at the Chronicle decided they would hit East Colfax and nearby areas in search of Dive Bar Divas to find out what motivated them. The bars we frequented to interview divas attract a wide variety of clientele and while the phrase “dive bar” was once deemed derogatory in nature, today the phrase has undertaken a hip and fun connotation.

Our first stop was local Denver staple Don’s Mixed Drinks at 723 E 6th Avenue, in the Country Club area. It has been serving customers young and old with cold beer and solid cocktails for almost 60 years. The place looks like a basement bar with a single pool table that is surrounded by years of trophies that pool players representing Don’s have won. A veteran crowd of regulars entertains during the day, while the nighttime gets significantly younger.

Blond, Leggy Diva

When we arrived at three in the afternoon there were a coterie of hard-core older male drinkers but among them there were two real live Dive Bar Divas. The first we interviewed was Amber Rubio who was blond, leggy and only 25-years-old. “The personality inside this bar is unmatched,” said this Denver resident. “Nightclubs are stuffy and crowded, but not here. There is room to stretch out and these guys are interested in drinking not hitting on you. Everyone at Don’s is super friendly and no one is afraid to start up a conversation simply for the sake of having a conversation.”

Rubio says that she can be found at Don’s at least once a week because “everyone has good stories and the bartenders make you laugh.” Her dive bar cohort was another 25-year-old — Hannah Moore, who was brunette and a bit of a tomboy. She enjoys dive bars because “everyone has something in common and it’s nice to go somewhere where people recognize you and you recognize them.”

Both women noted that the inexpensive drinks are a major attraction, along with the location in the Country Club area. They have both been going to dive bars since they turned 21. They were clearly the center of attention. At a crowded singles bar downtown or in Cherry Creek where women put on tons of makeup and are dressed up in the latest most expensive fashions they might not draw much of a crowd, but they were treated as celebrities at Don’s Mixed Drinks.

Cheap & Cordial

“If knowing your dive bars means that you’re a Dive Bar Diva then I’m definitely it,” noted Rubio. “A diva is someone who knows their spot and owns what they do and that is definitely me and Hannah.”

Next on our list was The Squire Lounge, which has been referred to as “the most notorious dive bar in all of Denver.” Located at 1800 E. Colfax Avenue, The Squire is the place to hear anything from Journey to ZZ Top and to play anything from pool to video games featuring naked women.

Given its quaint corner façade, The Squire is unexpectedly spacious and as far as East Colfax joints are concerned, it’s central, cheap and cordial. Here Dive Bar Divas Dorothy Trujillo and Linda Peifer hold court. Right Routine

“I like coming to The Squire because you don’t have to dress up and you don’t have to have a high-income salary,” explained Trujillo. “Plus, the drinks are cheap enough to be able to buy your own.”

Both divorced, Trujillo and Peifer come to The Squire almost every other day because they would “rather be some place casual.” Although they agree that “it takes guts” to walk into The Squire and that “a majority of girls are fearful to come into dive bars” they feel that it is their right to walk in to any bar they choose. They have been coming for almost a year and don’t plan on changing their routine anytime soon.

“You can get harassed at normal bars but at dive bars everybody is friendly,” noted Peifer. “Single women have a right to be here and the guys seem to love our company. At a dive bar you don’t have to put on airs and pretend to be somebody you’re not. You don’t have to be a supermodel to be treated special and we love it here.”

Second-string Folkies

After leaving The Squire, we ventured to the Satire Lounge, owned by Denver legend Pete Contos, whose six other establishments can be found within the Cherry Creek Valley. The Satire has been around for over 45 years and is known for its daily bar specials and Mexican cuisine. It is also famous for Bob Dylan performances that are described in Clinton Heylin’s book, Bob Dylan: Behind the Shades Revisited. Page 44 reads: “…[Bob Dylan’s] own playing ambitions were directed at the Satire, Denver’s home away from home for second-string folkies.” Located at 1962 E Colfax Avenue, the Satire proves its dive bar status with the cast of characters who occupy bar stools and the time of attractive bartender Tannia Chamberlyne.

Patron & Bartender

For the last 15 years, Chamberlyne has been working at the Satire because she “prefers the company at dive bars” and “would never work at a corporate establishment.” She explained that dive bars are like a second home for people and that the people they meet inside are like having a second family, or an only family, as the case may be.

“The Satire, like all dive bars, is a place where people can let their hair down,” noted Chamberlyne. “The dynamics of dive bars are so different than other places because everyone has stories and it’s a mix of young and old and everything in between.”

Chamberlyne can be found drinking at the Satire on Thursday nights, which she says is like having her birthday once a week, because she has Fridays off.

Magic For Women

“This place is interesting because we get every walk of life here and everyone gets along despite the mixed group of people,” she said.

According to Chamberlyne, a Dive Bar Diva is a woman who frequents dive bars and feels safe enough to do so. “I think young women come into dive bars because there is a magic about them,” explained Chamberlyne. “Everyone makes you feel comfortable right off the bat and people can be themselves. It’s like walking into someone’s living room and it’s not pretentious at all.”

While Chamberlyne is both a dive bar patron and bartender as an adult, she also grew up in dive bars. Her grandmother and mother sang country songs in dive bars and her grandmother, who was Roy Rogers’ fiancée before Dale Evans, owned a dive bar.

“I was raised in dive bars so this is the kind of environment I want to be in and these are the people I want to be around,” added Chamberlyne. “That’s never going to change.”

Generous Pours

Following our time on Colfax, we headed over to the Lancer Lounge, located at 233 E. 7th Avenue. Known for their stiff, but inexpensive drinks and varied jukebox, the Lancer’s locals enjoy holding court at the bar, boozing and chatting another day away. The patrons call the jukebox the very best in Denver and a single drink at the Lancer appears to have the alcohol content of three drinks at Elway’s at a third of the price. As if their generous pours weren’t incentive enough, they have Panic Bar on Thursday nights, which mean free drinks from 10-11 p.m.

Enjoying a summer day on the patio was the pretty, youthful and fresh-faced 27-year-old Brianne Campbell who says she likes dive bars because they are “off the beaten path.” Campbell describes the Lancer as being both cozy and having a lounge atmosphere that is very appealing to her.

“A wide variety of people come to the Lancer Lounge and it’s nice to recognize people and for them to recognize you,” noted Campbell. “The people are friendly and it’s comfortable here. Plus it’s a good location with good music and happy hour rolls around three times a day!

Campbell, along with 40-something boyfriend John Stephenson, comes to the Lancer at least once a week. Campbell thinks a Dive Bar Diva is someone who likes going to a bar that has a good vibe and isn’t trendy.

“I’ve been going to dive bars since I was 19-years-old and I always have a good time,” said Campbell. “I even found my boyfriend in a dive bar!”

Bad Road Faces

Our final location was Sobo 151, which is a Czech bar where we found sports enthusiasts, trivia fans, diners and pool players. The local spot, which boasts authentic Czech cuisine and many daily specials, can be found at 151 S Broadway. A fan of Sobo 151 and of Broadway dive bars was strikingly beautiful Victoria Taylor. “Yes,” she noted, “I get the line ‘What is a beautiful woman like you doing in a dump like this,’ all the time. “The answer is,” she goes on to note, “I like it here and this place is not a dump but simply unpretentious.” The beautiful Taylor clearly likes to drink and shares that in common with the other patrons. “To me a dive bar isn’t gross at all, but it also isn’t fancy, or spic and span,” said Taylor. “There is something comfortable about them; they have old furniture and you can drink in peace. The best dive bars are open every day of the week from eight in the morning to two at night. “

“My guy friends here at Sobo’s have ‘10,000 miles of bad road’ faces,” stated Taylor, but, “they have seen it all and always have great stories. I go to dive bars just for their stories and to hear about where they have been and what they’ve seen.”

Hardcore Hotties

While Taylor sometimes goes to Sobos for the karaoke, she says that the drink prices are the best on Broadway. Her favorite nights are Wednesdays and Thursdays because the bar offers $3 Washington apple shots and $2 gin and tonics, respectively.

“I haven’t missed going to Sobos on Wednesdays and Thursdays for two years,” Taylor said proudly. “How could you pass up deals like that?”

Although some view dive bars as places to avoid, the Dive Bar Divas of the Cherry Creek Valley see these places as their home away from home. A Dive Bar Diva is a young attractive woman who wants to be in a comfortable setting where the people and the scenery are both eclectic and welcoming. They are women who are drawn to places where they don’t have to worry about how they look and they don’t have to be concerned with impressing anyone. Even if their fellow patrons look like they’ve been on the road forever and are hardcore drinkers, Dive Bar Divas seem to love their company and their stories and can handle what ever may come their way. They are as described by the myspace Web page as “the hotties that make the magic” at a bar near you.

posted: June 30, 2011

In the era of digital boxes networked into 100,000-song libraries, mood is half the battle, and sadly, some places just don't have that good jukebox vibe. But the beer-soaked, retro aura at Don's is a perfect match for the music in its box, with discs ranging from the Beatles' "Abbey Road" to Tom Waits's "Closing Time" to "The Essential Patsy Cline." The nicotine-stained ambience is further bolstered by nice helpings of barroom standards (Johnny Cash, Hank Williams, John Lee Hooker) alongside side dishes of 21st-century hip-hop (Outkast, Eminem) and the greatest hits of assorted departed icons (Cobain, Marley, Joplin, Hendrix, Gaye). If you can't find five songs you want to play here, you aren't trying.

posted: June 30, 2011

Don's Club Tavern has attracted locals since the 1940s.

It has been 60 years, and Don’s Club Tavern is still going strong. Locals will tell you that the past few years have brought on some notable developments to Don’s Club Tavern, and although a few people object to the changes, the modifications have arguably brought out the very best in this Denver neighborhood bar.

When a local Denver conglomerate took over Don’s Club Tavern in June of 2006, they brought on Jon Turecki to run it. Turecki’s experience in the industry runs the gamut from busboy to sommelier, but they way he sees it, the most important thing was to keep the people, the place and the feeling as close to the original Don’s as possible. “The whole idea of us taking this place over was to keep it the way that it was,” says Turecki.

Turecki began his career in the restaurant and bar industry at an early age. Growing up in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, he got jobs working in local restaurants, like most other people his age. He worked as a busboy all the way through high school and found himself working as a sous chef by the time he was in college. With experience in four star and five star restaurants, it may sound as if a neighborhood bar like Don’s is the last place Turecki would end up. Much to the contrary. “This place is much more intriguing. You’re not just dealing with the upper crust,” says Turecki. “I’ll spend the rest of my life in this business…It gets in your blood. Once you’re in it, you’re in it.”

"I'll spend the rest of my life in this business...It gets in your blood. Once you're in it, you're in it."

One of the ways Turecki wanted to rejuvenate Don’s was to initiate a much-needed expansion. Recent renovations have involved knocking down a wall and adding 350 square feet of space, installing a glass-paneled garage-style door that opens in the summer, and putting in two brand-new bathrooms. The once narrow bar can now better accommodate busy weekends when the crowded bar gets up to five people deep. Regulars returning for the first time since the expansion look about in wonder and excitement at the added space, the new open-air window and the spic and span bathrooms, but the bar itself maintains the neighborhood feel it has had for 62 years. Now it simply has more to offer.

It took at least a year to really gain the trust of the local crowd, including the regulars loyal to the old ways. But the growth of the surrounding area combined with Turecki’s team of professional, friendly bartenders has allowed Don’s to become a true neighborhood bar. “What we’re doing here is neighborhood-like. It’s treating people fairly,” says Turecki.

Although many locals perceive these changes as a new version of their favorite hang-out, Turecki promises this: “These are all the changes you’re going to see, probably well outside of my lifetime, if this place goes another 60 years.”

When asked about Don’s status as the “Best Dive Bar in Denver,” (as awarded by 5280 Magazine in 2008), Turecki feels a sense of pride. But he finds that the real difference between a neighborhood bar and a dive bar is a tough question. “It’s much more of a neighborhood bar now than it is a dive bar, and how those go hand in hand I haven’t figured out. I know that’s exactly where I want to be, though.”

Don’s Club Tavern may be no-frills, but it functions just as well as anything. The under-bar itself is fairly typical, and Turecki would not have it any other way. He likes his four-compartment bar sink and his electric upright glass washer. “I’ve found that it’s a lot faster than an automatic dishwasher. I feel the glasses come out cleaner,” says Turecki. As far as glassware goes, they keep the place well-stocked with pint glasses and rocks glasses. Said Turecki: “We have one martini glass and one wine glass. We do not do mojitos, we do not do any of that nonsense that comes with fru fru bars. If that wine glass is out, we serve your wine in a rocks glass. That’s all there is to it.”

The people at Don’s welcome newcomers and regulars alike, treating people with a smile and a stiff drink. At Don’s, they want you to come as you are. These are things that general manager Jon Turecki wants people to remember.

At Don's, loyal regulars come in all shapes and sizes.

“You’ve got to…let people be who they are,” says Turecki of his widely diverse customer base. “You can come in here barefoot or in a tux. We treat everybody the same.” Turecki leads by example, employing a team of friendly and professional bartenders who take care of the place and the people, asking only that everyone show respect.

Jon Turecki is definitely in his perfect career. He knows he’ll be doing this for the rest of his life. Turecki says, “I never have those days when I say I just don’t want to be there. That’s the beauty of this business. If you are really into it, it can be very profitable. And it can be very soothing and fun.”

Though Turecki speaks fondly about his career, he cautions those considering taking the leap into the beverage industry themselves. “Don’t do it unless you’ve done it before. Don’t do it unless you’re familiar with the industry,” he says. “Somebody that just wants to make a career change and wants to go into the restaurant or bar business? Absolutely not. I wouldn’t recommend it. It’s a different business…and it could make you go broke if you don’t do it the right way.”

Turecki plans to run other bars in his future, but for the time being he feels happy to be part of Don’s Club Tavern. “This bar appeals to every walk of life, and it does really well as such. It’s gotten so much better. There’s definitely the Don’s of before and the Don’s of what we have today. Ultimately, this is the

FSW Article - Professional Business Profiles
Author: Monica Parpal
Photographer: Monica Parpal

posted: June 30, 2011

Issue: February 2008

Section: Feature

The Best Bars in Denver
From swanky lounges to boozy bars, we round up more than 40 of the city's best places to imbibe. Plus, the nondrinker's journal, bartenders' tips, and debunking the alcohol-altitude myth.

Bars are often confused with restaurants. It's a common mistake that can be avoided by understanding the main difference: Restaurants are destinations; bars are not. The best restaurants, through their food and fame, will draw people from across the city, the state—or sometimes the country—to enjoy their crispy Colorado striped bass filet or slow-braised Highland beef with roasted corn risotto. Bars are local joints. Regardless of whether they're swanky cocktail lounges or dingy hole-in-the-walls, they attract people that live, work, or play nearby to come in for a beer or three. Bars, like parks or libraries, belong to and reflect the surrounding blocks in the best ways. The crowds, the decor, and the staff are familiar, inviting, and inherently of a neighborhood. The best bars are like second homes—with draft beer.

With that in mind, we scoured Denver, Boulder, and the suburbs for neighborhood drinking institutions. (For our methodology, see page 71). Chances are, there's one a stone's throw from your house. Go there. Drink. Watch the game. Meet your neighbors. Be merry. And have another

(EDITED)

CENTRAL DENVER

Don's Club Tavern 723 E. Sixth Ave. You're drinking: A whiskey sour You're listening to: Rock ranging from Death Cab for Cutie to AC/DC Don's Club Tavern—better known as Don's Mixed Drinks—has cheap drinks, gruff bartenders, dim lightning, and a bar coated with a sticky film. Go here.

Alcoholic Anonymous The Nondrinker's POV

9 p.m. The bartender finally emerges from the bowels of the tavern holding a dust-caked six-pack of O'Doul's. I'd bet a week's pay on what he'll say next.

"It's warm."

Oh well, at least they have it.

I quit drinking about 12 years ago but never stopped going to bars. I'm no weenie teetotalist, and bars are where everyone is: friends, bands, women. I just like the atmosphere—to a point.

10 p.m. The O'Doul's has chilled to lukewarm. Close enough.

After flunking a magazine test about my inebriation habits at 29, I knew it was time. I rarely stumbled home, blacked out, or got into foolish brawls; to paraphrase writer Pete Hamill, I simply wasn't very good at it. So when I saw my red-flag score, like a longtime fugitive weary of running, I turned myself in.

Quitting was surprisingly easy. I went to a month of AA meetings, but haven't been back since I got my 30-day chip. I once craved a drink, following my grandfather's funeral several months after my last cocktail (which, for the record, was champagne sipped from my girlfriend's navel). My cousin handed me an N/A, and the moment it hit my tongue the craving washed away in a startling rush.

11 p.m. The best time. People laugh, flirt—connect—the inhibitions beating a charming retreat. The revelers teeter toward incapacitation, predictably oblivious to my unaltered sobriety.

AA devotees might compare me to a junkie kicking it in a crack house, but it's simply never been an issue. Bars unite and entertain—usually, for the sober, until about midnight, when my jackass friend tells the same story for the third time in about 30 minutes.

Think I'll call it a night. —Luc Hatlestad

posted: June 30, 2011

Just liquored up enough to go with the flow of all those beautiful people, I could even grasp the fact that the word “martini” was being used loosely here. My fellow judges and I weren’t looking for the platonic ratio of gin to vermouth plus a golden drop of sun from a lemon twist: everything was on the table, from Bubbletinis garnished with, yes, chewing gum; to PBR tallboys, poured with faux-pomp by the bartender from Don’s Club Tavern, who clearly relished the opportunity to represent “Denver’s best dive bar.”

To say that we were open to anything isn’t, however, to say we didn’t keep our critical wits about us, even while being plied with Sex on the Beaches. After sampling eight cocktails, we were in near-unanimous agreement on the top three:

3rd place: Brazilian Rose, Texas de Brazil Churrascaria. Layered like a sunrise — red on bottom, orange-yellow on top — this blend of Cachaça 51, triple sec, grenadine, and passion fruit juice reminded fellow judge (and former Bronco) Darius Walker of a smoothie. Smooth it certainly was, being fruity but not cloying, thanks to a sufficient amount of the base spirit.

2nd place: Smooth & Dirty, The Corner Office. The drink that most closely resembled a classic martini was this potent combination of Hendrick’s gin, flash-infused with both cucumber and olive juice, and dry vermouth. We were instructed to take a bite of the garnish — a slice of cucumber and a blue cheese–stuffed olive — between our first and second sips, demonstrating the transformative impact of food on the flavor of a beverage.

1st place: The Hellvis, Scruffy Murphy’s Irish Pub. Were we swayed by the charm of our kilt-clad bartender? Seduced by the funky garnish of bacon, house-pickled egg, and sweet pickle? Perhaps, although the blend of Hendrick’s gin with garlic-and-horseradish-spiked bloody mary mix, topped off with a dash of Sriracha, was plenty kicky in itself — enough so that fellow judge Audra Dobbs, aka Miss Rodeo Colorado 2009, went back for a refill.

As for me, one more drink and I might have had the courage to place a bid on the awesome framed Caddyshack poster at the silent auction. I hope it found a good home — but I’m glad I remained just sober enough that night to find my own.

by Ruth Tobias

posted: February 16, 2011

One of the newest sports bars in Cherry Creek North, Brandon’s Pub on Second Avenue and St Paul Street, has been adopted by the fans of the Auburn University Tigers who have a possible shot for the national championship. When the Auburn game comes on, all 17 television screens switch to that game and the Auburn cheering fans start screaming for their team while singing team fight songs and belting out cheers. When the Tigers score a touchdown, Brandon’s does shots, normally based around the team’s colors — orange and blue. There are also special menus with reduced prices which change every game day. Brandon’s owner Clemente Martinez declares, “They love their team and know how to have a great time. It’s almost like being in a big sky box at the stadium — it is that electric.”

A few blocks north at 575 St. Paul is the self-proclaimed Alabama Crimson Tide headquarters at the Irish Hound. During halftime the fans play bar games such as Big Buck Hunter and Pop-A-Shot Basketball while enjoying their famous menu items such as smoked pork and homemade potato chips. Irish whiskey and Irish beer are guaranteed to never run out. The ’Bama fans seem every bit as rabid as the hated rivals from Auburn.

Which brings us to our holiday suggestion for Chronicle sports fans. Why not watch this year’s bowl games by going to the sport bars in the Valley that have adopted one of the teams playing in a particular bowl. You’re going to have a good time and maybe go to a sports bar you never have been to before. There are always food and drink specials, and it is a wonderful way to meet a lot of fun people.

“My Saturdays revolve around college football games and they are pretty much the main social event of my weekend,” said Valley resident and Iowa Hawkeyes fan Erica Garvey. “Honestly during the fall I don’t really go out at night unless Iowa has a night game. Watching the game is one of my favorite ways to relax, unless my team is losing.”

Garvey continued, “I love watching football, but I admit that I go for the social aspect. It’s great to be surrounded by a hundred people all cheering for the same team. The enthusiasm is infectious and I always find someone to chat with. In fact, I met one of my best Chicago friends at a Steelers bar!” When they put out the list of dates, times and teams playing in bowl games just consult our handy list below for where to go.

Among the top sports bars that sponsor fans of a particular university expected to go to a bowl game are:

Alabama — Irish Hound, 575 St. Paul Street (just off 6th Avenue) Arkansas — Choppers Sports Grill, 80 S. Madison (just down from Gates Tennis Center) Auburn — Brandon’s Pub, 3027 East 2nd Avenue (Cherry Creek North) Boise State — Old Chicago, 1415 Market Street (Downtown Denver) Iowa — Sports Column, 1930 Blake Street (Downtown Denver) LSU — Brooklyn’s, 901 Auraria Parkway (One block from Pepsi Center) Michigan State — Blake Street Tavern, 23rd & Blake (one block north of Coors Field) Nebraska — Cap City Tavern, 1247 Bannock Street (Golden Triangle) Ohio State — Croc’s Mexican Bar & Grill, 1630 Market Street (Downtown Denver) Oklahoma State — The Fawning Goat, 846 Broadway Street (near Governor’s Park) Oregon — Jackson’s All American Sports Grill, 1520 20th Street (across from Coors Field) South Carolina — Don’s Mixed Drinks, 723 East 6th Avenue (south of Cheesman Park) Texas Christian — The Elm, 5001 East Colfax (Park Hill) Wisconsin — Swanky’s, 1938 Blake Street (Downtown Denver)

Ever since Jenn Sterger (most recently of Bret Favre fame) was discovered by ABC Sports doing a camera shot of the fans at a Florida State game, there has been an ongoing debate concerning which college team has the most attractive female fans. After touring the sports bars during the college bowl season, you can go to our Web site ( www.glendalecherrycreek.com ) and vote for which team has the most beautiful women cheering them on in the Cherry Creek Valley.

posted: January 16, 2011